Frozen liveblog

Though we have never seen the movie, Daughter is nevertheless obsessed with Frozen. In a few minutes, we will see what all the fuss is about. I will be live blogging the experience.

It starts.

Little girls never sing this intro song.

Silly troll. Brainwashing is not how you treat hypothermia.

Ah, here’s Build a Snowman.

Daughter doesn’t just sing this, she acts it out. Sometimes with the refrigerator door. Adorable, right?

WRONG! The parents die in the middle. Disney had caused my daughter to act out my death on a daily basis.

There sure are a lot of songs. Was Lion King 90% music?

Well, Hans and Anna sure move quickly.

On the other hand, they are both rich. That’s a good sign that it’s meant to be.

“I think it’s crazy; we finish each other’s sandwiches.” IT IS CRAZY. Joey doesn’t share food!

Why does everybody think we’d be anti-X-men? Everybody *wants* superpowers.

At least Elsa stuck with her real name instead of picking a lame one like “Iceman.”

Ah, here comes The Song.

“No right, no wrong, no rules for me.” Elsa is promoting Nietzsche.

Kristof has been negging Anna like crazy. I assume he becomes the real love interest, instead of the sensible, reliable, honorable, rich prince.

The snowman is singing about how excited he is to do “whatever snow does in summer.” This movie is sick.

Elsa sure switched to murder mode quickly. Maybe they’re right about sorceresses after all.

Why doesn’t Elsa just make another snow monster?

The moral is that nice guys are secretly evil.

Anna, falling in love with the first guy you ever met didn’t work so well. That doesn’t mean the second guy you ever met was actually The One.

(Neo is the One.)

(Also Sheridan and two others.)

It’s over. Lion King is still the best. Take that, kids these days!

Son is still clapping, but he claps for everything.

This is the first time I’ve seen a girl dressed as Anna. (Still way more Elsas. It was like Halloween all over again.)

The bad guy threatens your kingdom! What do you do?
A) The answer is love, maaan. Love.
B) Climactic cliff top showdown, as fires rage around you.
And that is why Lion King is better than Frozen.

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